Bella Does Drugs! Twilight, Chapter 12

Usually I have a sentence or two here that summarizes one of the main themes in the chapter, but today all you’re going to get is an unfinished

Highlights

Billy and Jacob Black come to Charlie and Bella’s house, and Billy pulls a total dad move and says, “Of course, Jacob was anxious to see Bella again.”

Bella fights “back a surge of remorse. Maybe I’d been too convincing on the beach.” Oh, really, Bella? You think you may have been too convincing? You played him like a fiddle piano or a didgeridoo! Jacob is 14 years old! He’s still in that confused awkward stage that most guys go through. You most definitely were too convincing!

After this awkward introduction, Bella goes to the kitchen to make sandwiches. [insert sexist joke here]. So much for Bella being a strong, independent woman. She’s living out one of the most common stereotypes about women. Seriously, though, there is nothing wrong with a female going to the kitchen and making a sandwich.

Jacob joins Bella in the kitchen and asks her about that guy who drove off really quickly. He didn’t recognize the driver. He keeps asking her until she tells him it was Edward. Jacob laughs and says that explains why his dad was acting weird. His dad doesn’t like the vampires. Now Bella’s afraid Billy will tell Charlie that she’s been hanging out with one of them dangerous folk.

Bella finishes the sandwiches and brings it out to her dad. She pretends to watch whatever game’s on TV with her dad and Billy while Jacob talks to her. Unfortunately for the boy, Bella’s not really engaged in the conversation. She’s listening to the men, trying to see if Billy will tell her dad about Edward. He doesn’t, and eventually, the Blacks leave.

Charlie asks Bella why she doesn’t date Mike. Another total dad move. Bella says it’s because he’s kind of dating Jessica. She doesn’t say it was because he’s thirstier than a Kardashian in the Kalahari. She doesn’t say this because the Kardashians weren’t a thing back then. Those were the good old days.

Edward and Bella are going to be alone on a trip to I don’t know where because either I don’t remember or they haven’t said yet. I’m going to go with the former. I haven’t been very good at reading this book.

Next day as he’s driving her to school, Edward asks Bella more questions, but they’re a little deeper than “what is your favorite gemstone?” Some of them delve into ex-boyfriend territory, but fortunately, Bella hasn’t dated anyone, so that convo doesn’t last long. See, this is why I’ve remained single my entire life – if a vampire asks me about my love life, I won’t have to be embarrassed.

Edward then says he should have let Bella drive today, because he’s leaving early to do something somewhere with someone. He’s hunting, because “if I’m going to be alone with you tomorrow, I’m going to take whatever precautions I can.”

So he’s afraid of losing all control and biting Bella, so he wants to get all his thirst out before then. Good for him.

But this makes Bella sad. “‘What time will I see you tomorrow?’ I asked, already depressed by the thought of him leaving now.” Watch out, Edward, this girl seems clingy, like you’re a sock and she’s lint. You should leave her now and let someone else take care of her, someone like Jacob.

I don’t think Edward will take my advice, sadly. That’s the disadvantage of being real: fictional characters can’t hear you.

The two part ways, and Edward promises Bella he’ll see her in the morning. Tomorrow is going to be a very important moment in the relationship. As Bella puts it, “Our relationship couldn’t continue to balance…on the point of a knife. We would fall off one edge or the other, depending entirely on his decision, or his instincts. My decision was made…I was committed to seeing it through. Because there was nothing more terrifying to me, more excruciating, than the thought of turning away from him.”

Sorry for that long quote. It’s just a long way of saying Bella’s committed to the relationship because she can’t say ‘NO’ to Edward. In fact, I don’t even know why I still have that quote up there. That last sentence sums it up pretty well.

I just remembered: they’re going to Seattle.

No. They’re going to a forest somewhere. I think.

Thirsty Mike asks Bella if Edward’s taking her to the dance, she says no, he asks her what she’s doing then, she says laundry and trigonometry. Having not gotten the hint yet, Thirsty Mike invites Bella to the dance one more time, this time as a part of a group. “We’d all dance with you,” he says, thirstier than a, um, I’ve got nothing. Bella snaps at him, says no. This was the right thing to do when you’re approached by a thirsty guy. Just say no.

After school, Bella walks into the parking lot, and she sees her truck in the parking space where Edward had parked his car hours earlier. Why is this weird? Bella’s keys were in her house under a pile of dirty laundry. How did Edward get the vehicle to the school? By sneaking into her house and going through her unwashed clothes like a creepy person? Or by lifting it and carrying it all the way to the school?

On the driver’s seat, there’s a note. It says, “Be Safe.” That’s cute. They’re in the ‘writing little encouraging notes to each other’ phase.

Here’s where things get really, really weird. Once she gets home, Bella does something that I recommend nobody do. Ever. Because she’s nervous, she purposely takes cold medicine, even though she’s not sick, so that she can fall asleep. Never, ever do this. Stephenie Meyer chooses to use such wording as “I waited for the drugs to kick in” and “the cold pills took effect.” Children are reading this, Ms. Meyer! To make matters worse, there’s this line: “I woke early, having slept soundly and dreamlessly thanks to my gratuitous drug use.” Okay, so Bella does drugs and there are no consequences? This sets a bad example for readers everywhere! Drugs ruin lives. Stay away from them.

So onto the drive up to the woods. Things start out fine, but then Edward learns Bella didn’t tell anyone that she was going to be alone with him. This makes him angry, and the two don’t talk to each other for the rest of the car ride. This is awkward.

They go on a hike. This part is pretty boring. There’s some good description, but I just want to finish this post, so I’ll stop there.

Things Edward says that would be creepy/psychopathic if I said them to a girl or any human being for that matter

  • “You fascinate me.” Yeah, I can’t say that. Well, I can, I’m able to, but at what cost? I’m not about to find out.

Bad Dialogue by Bella

  • “Should I say ‘have fun,’ or is that the wrong sentiment?” — Bella

Maybe she’s just trying to speak in words that Edward can understand.

Foreshadowing?

“Charlie was absentminded at dinner, worried over something at work…or maybe a basketball game…”

My theory? Charlie’s worried that his favorite NBA team, the Seattle Supersonics, are going to leave to another city. Maybe in Oklahoma or something. Speaking of the Thunder, they had a great Fourth of July.

Bella Potential Boyfriend Power Rankings

  1. Edward – He cares for Bella. Good for him, I guess.
  2. Jacob – Poor Jacob. Bella led him on a little too strongly. I feel like he’s going to have his heart broken.
  3. Thirsty Mike – Dude, just give up already. She’s not interested. Okay?

What’s Next?
Chapter-wise, I am halfway through the book. Hopefully I’ll write the next post before August.

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